I didn’t understand why someone would come to church dressed like that… until I heard her response

I still don’t understand how someone can come to church dressed that way  Her answer left me speechless.

After the service, I saw her outside, standing near the entrance.

I decided to go talk to her.

Respectfully, I told her that, in my opinion, her outfit wasn’t really appropriate for a place of worship, and I gently suggested that she consider something more modest next time.

She looked at me like I was crazy…

Then she said something that completely took my breath away 

A Church Encounter: An Appearance That Shook My Beliefs

Last Sunday, as I walked into the sanctuary, I experienced an unexpected moment of reflection. A woman in her forties stood there, her body adorned with tattoos, multiple visible piercings.

Since childhood, I was taught that church is a sacred space where humility is expressed even in how we dress. For me, modest and respectful clothing was part of the spiritual attitude expected.

But that day, this boldly dressed woman challenged those deeply rooted beliefs.

I asked myself: Are my expectations still relevant today?

Do we really need to impose dress codes in places of worship?

Rethinking Religious Dress Norms

Faced with her unconventional style, I was pushed to reconsider my preconceived ideas. After the service, I approached her politely and told her that her outfit seemed a bit too flashy for a spiritual setting. Without aggression, I suggested she might consider a more discreet appearance.

Her answer was direct and unapologetic:

“My appearance is none of your business.”

A simple statement… but one that deeply unsettled me. Was it really her clothing that bothered me? Or my own outdated norms?

What if the problem is the way we look at others?

That moment forced me to confront my judgments. Maybe I was still clinging to a rigid idea of how one should dress to pray.

In an era where self-expression is valued, is it fair to expect everyone to follow a uniform dress code?

Do our clothes really reflect our faith?

Or should we focus on the sincerity of the heart rather than outward appearance?

Is there still a “proper outfit” for going to church?

We grew up with unwritten rules: modest dresses, suits, nothing “too flashy.” These habits created a sense of unity and respect.

But today, the lines between “appropriate” and “inappropriate” are blurred. Tattoos, piercings, and unique outfits have become symbols of freedom and identity.

So, should we still enforce a way of dressing to honor God?

For some, yes. For others, it has nothing to do with faith.

Church: A Place of Welcome or of Judgment?

Isn’t the fundamental role of a church to unite, welcome, and bring people together?

By judging someone’s appearance, we risk missing what’s essential: the person, their story, their spiritual journey.

Behind every tattoo, every clothing choice, lies a life, struggles, a faith perhaps far deeper than it seems.

Closing the door on someone because of how they look is closing the door on their testimony, their growth, their value.

Tradition vs. Personal Expression: Finding the Balance

Respecting tradition can be a way to honor our roots, ancestors, and faith.

But personal expression is also a sincere way to exist before God.

The goal isn’t to erase all reference points, but to find a balance between tradition and openness.

To create a space where everyone can feel respected—whether they wear a suit or jeans, whether they have tattoos or not.

Fostering a Culture of Respect in Our Communities

Rather than enforcing strict rules, why not promote an attitude of mutual respect and kindness?

Encourage attire that aligns with the spirit of the place, without judgment or pressure.

It’s by cultivating listening and understanding that our churches can truly become places of peace, faith… and humanity.

Opening Our Hearts Before Our Eyes

Christ’s example is clear: He went to those whom society rejected. He looked at the heart, not the outward appearance.

What if we did the same?

Whether someone comes in traditional clothes or in simple garments, what matters is the sincere desire to draw closer to God.

By embracing the diversity of paths and expressions, the Church can once again become what it was always meant to be: a home for all.