I Refuse to Let My Parents Meet My Kids Because They Forbade Me to Marry My Wife

One angry man came to Reddit to share his family dilemma. His parents were always against his marriage and sincerely hated his wife, trying to make her life in the family unbearable. Now that the couple have kids, the OP’s parents want to meet them, and here’s how the OP decided to teach his mom and dad some respect.

A man turned to Reddit with his complex family problem.

For illustrative purposes only.

The OP shared, “I am 29 m. My parents didn’t see that my wife 28 has a big heart and has an awesome personality or how beautiful she is. All they saw was that she was deaf. I asked them how ignorant can they be? They argued that she will pass her disability onto any children we have.

Long story short, they said they won’t accept her into the family.”

The husband stood by his wife’s side and argued with his parents.

The man confessed, “I said then you arent accepted into ours and any children we have they arent going to know about them. Jessie cried when I reluctantly had to tell her why they weren’t attending our wedding. I hated them more for that.

Only my sister 29 came and she the only one I speak to but I havent spoken or seen my parents since.”

Now, the OP’s parents want to meet their grandkids, but the man ultimately said no.

For illustrative purposes only.

The angry husband wrote, “We now have twins. A boy and girl. They are both hearing. My sister came to visit and said our parents found out about them and asked her to ask me and Jessie if they can meet them. I immediately shut that down. Told my sister to remind them they rejected Jessie first and they have to stay away from the kids. My sister later texted and said they both want to apologize. I said it’s too late.

I told Jessie about the request she said maybe we can reconsider and take it slow. My friend said it can be the healing and closure I need. I don’t know if I want it. I dont know if they are wanting to see my children because they found out they are hearing. I don’t know if Im being selfish and only thinking about how I feel. Am I wrong in this situation?”

Reddit community expressed their thoughts about the man’s situation, and many of the comments were gems.

For illustrative purposes only.
  • One user immediately suggested, “They can come when they have learned sign language.”
  • Another one wrote, “I’d ask for an admission of what they’ve done and apology in sign language. If there’s clear contrition and effort in learning sign in order to fully accept his wife then let them apologize to her. Then have a discussion of how they’ll be introduced to the children and the role they’ll play and boundaries that need to be respected.”
  • One more person concluded, “They rejected OP too, based on his decision to marry what they see as a lesser person. They are parents that voluntarily chose a life without their son. OP alone is not good enough for them. He and his wife are getting this ‘opportunity’ only because ‘my grandbabies.’
  • OP and his wife are a necessary means to an end. They are an exception that must be made for them to get what they want. This is conditional and selfish love. These people do not deserve OP, his wonderful wife, or their grandchildren.”
  • One more user added, “The condition here is that their grand grandbabies are HEARING. If the babies were Deaf, I really doubt that OP’s parents would have changed their minds and hearts, perhaps even felt justified in their rejection. Would they still want to be a part of the grandchildren’s lives if they ever lose their hearing, or develop another disability? Or is their love conditioned on the requirement that the babies remain without disabilities? Will they blame OP’s wife for any disability that could arise?

This does not feel like an opportunity for healing and closure, it feels like an opportunity for OP’s parents to exert control over his life again on their terms, without an interrogation of their previous nasty and self-centered behavior.”

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